things i want some people in my life to understand:
- going to chicago does not equate getting raped.
- getting raped is not a legit concern of mine. been there been that.
- i know life is not totally safe.
- i’m not a total idiot.
- just because i didn’t fit in with conservatives who didn’t understand how i could have gay friends doesn’t mean i think i’m better than them.
- life’s not as scary as people make it out to be.
so, my car kinda sticks out in my neighborhood. i mean, i won’t go into a lot of detail but it was originally all white, but now it’s kind of two toned and the paint may or may not be chipping, and, alright, there’s a hint of rust. but come on, i’m a 20 year old driver and have had that car since i was 15, it’s gonna take a few hits.
anyways, some dingleberries in the hood (whose mommy and daddy will probably buy them cherry red corvettes so they can mess that up) thought it would be really witty to draw a huge overexcited genitalia on my back windshield and write “SUCK COCK” next to it, as well as “nice car! HA HA HA” on the drivers side window in window chalk.
turns out the joke is on them. i do love my car. it has way more character than those little raccoons. also, as flattering as it is to offer me their bodies, i don’t know them, and if i did i’m sure i wouldn’t touch them. also: that jokes been done more times than i think it is possible to count, and is probably going on right now somewhere in the world. it’s like the universal “i’m stupid and can’t think of a good joke” joke.
nice try, hoodlums.